The statistics concerning men and mental health issues is staggering:
over 6 million men in the U.S. suffer from depression annually, though it often goes undiagnosed or is misdiagnosed
men are 2 to 3 times more likely than women to develop a substance use disorder
men make up 90% of individuals diagnosed with schizophrenia by age 30
nearly 80% of U.S. suicides are by men
Yet, men are significantly less likely than women to seek help. There are many reasons for this, but a large part is due to societal expectations for how a man is “supposed to act” and stigmas surrounding vulnerability when they struggle. Many suppress their emotions and avoid seeking help. Men simply aren't good at establishing and maintaining healthy supportive relationships. The end result is we are most likely to either lean on an unhealthy coping mechanism (alcohol, drugs, porn, gambling, or other addictions) and/or stuff those emotions deep inside.
Think of an inflated ball floating in a pool. We’ve all played the game where we attempt to keep that ball under water. Sooner or later it will find a way to the surface. When it does, its usually in dramatic fashion as the ball shoots up out of the water. This is a good picture of a man’s attempt to stuff his emotions. Sooner or later, they’ll find a way out.
Like the ball, our stuffed emotions have pressure that will force their way to the surface. This pressure often can results in an internal battle with anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. Too often men are less likely to reach out for support, fearing judgment or being perceived as weak.
In my own experience, one of the biggest contributing factors to a man’s struggles—whether it be marital, work, or personal (you really can’t separate those)—is isolation.
There are many cogs in the mental health wheel, but right near the middle sits close, male friends. Men need friends in the “iron sharpens iron” sense—to shoot straight with, encourage, and correct. And they also need male friends like the ones who carried their paralyzed friend to Jesus.
"Some men came carrying a paralyzed man on a mat and tried to take him
into the house to lay him before Jesus. When they could not find a way to do
this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his
mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus"
(Lk.5:18-25).
This man would have remained broken for the rest of his life, if he didn’t have friends who cared. Each of us need people like this in our lives—people whose faith we can lean on to get us through our brokenness.
