Talking about Suicide
Choosing our words is always an important skill, but when it comes to suicide should we even broach the subject? If I ask someone about it, won't it make them consider taking their life?
The term “suicide” was coined in 1651 and literally means “self” (sui) “to kill” (cide). Suicide is not a mental illness; however, mental illness is a significant factor. In other words, just because someone has a mental illness does not mean they will attempt to take their life. In fact, most people who suffer from mental illness do not attempt suicide. But of those that do, 90% of them have experienced some form of mental illness, such as depression, post-traumatic stress, bipolar, and anxiety disorders.
Several important terms are used when discussing the topic:
Suicidal ideation. This describes thoughts about ending one's life. It does not always include a plan to take action. There is an important distinction suicidal thoughts (i.e. ideations) and suicide attempts. A person may have thoughts of taking their own life without every following through on them. An important step in moving from thoughts and action is developing a plan for suicide.
Suicide attempt. This involves moving from thoughts to action. Persons who have attempted to take their life have made a plan and taken action.
Suicide. This describes death caused by self-injury.
The Center for Addiction and Mental Health provides good counsel regarding how to talk about suicide with someone who may be considering taking their life.
Be direct. We know that talking to someone about suicide won't cause or increase suicidal thoughts, or cause the person to act on them. It can help them feel less isolated and scared.
Be hopeful. People can and do get better.
Encourage people to seek help.
Download their excellent booklet Words Matter.
NAMI gives helpful advice regarding what to do if you think someone may be seriously considering taking their life:
"If you are having this conversation with a friend, it’s time to reach out to somebody. However,
depending on whether your friend is actively suicidal (seriously considering suicide, has a plan
or the means to carry out a plan) or experiencing suicidal ideation without any intention of acting
on it (passively suicidal) — you need to make sure they are getting the appropriate level of care.
Remember, people who are suicidal are in pain, and they just want that pain to go away.”
Option 1: Ensure they see a therapist.
If your friend is depressed, but not actively suicidal, you should encourage them to see a
therapist if they aren’t already. You can help by offering to research and make calls if they
are not feeling up to finding a therapist themselves. You should also check in regularly to
see how they are and make sure their symptoms have not escalated toward crisis.
Option 2: Seek immediate help.
If they convey that they are actively suicidal, you should get them help immediately. If they
have a therapist or psychiatrist, call them to ask if they have a crisis plan in place or what
you should do. If they don’t have a therapist, you should take them to the hospital for an
evaluation.
A very helpful resource is the 988 Lifeline. You can talk to someone immediately by calling, texting, or chatting 988.
